A 6 episode sit-com, with Tommy and Bobby playing Bernard Cooney and Trevor Purvis respectively. They are security guards in Margaret Thatcher Plaza, a shopping centre.
Brief outlines of the episodes, and the cast and credits are below.
First shown on ITV Monday 15th July 1991, 7pm
Trevor returns from his holiday in Scarborough. Bernard keeps telling him how wonderful Tyrone, the temporary replacement was. Two men in gorilla outfits burst in, and one of them holds Trevor and Bernard hostage with a gun, while the other goes off into the centre. Bernard manages to overpower him, thinking his gun is only a toy. When the police come they discover one of the ‘gorillas’ is Tyrone.
First shown on ITV Monday 22nd July 1991, 7pm
Originally recorded as the pilot show of the series, to be part of Cannon and Balls Playhouse. Trevor is watching a film on video, but finds Bernards sister has recorded Emmerdale Farm over the end of it. He is desperate to see the end, they visit the video shop but don’t have enough money, and the assistant in the shop won’t let them have it without (no matter how much charm they show!)
The Tramp Who Never Was
First shown on ITV Monday 29th July 1991, 7pm
Bernard and Trevor are playing Monopoly together when theres a knock at the door. A tramp comes in and makes himself at home, and becomes quite a regular visitor. He is popular with Bernard, sharing Army stories, but not with Trevor, who thinks he’s a con-man. Eventually Bernard agrees to get rid of him, and lends him �50 pounds to pay for the for the solicitor he claims he needs. On his way out the tramp passes Trevor, pretends to come clean with him, and says he’s an actor who’s down on his luck. Trevor gives him �30 so he can get back on his feet in London. At the end, Trevor is getting the Monopoly board out, when he notices the tramp has also stolen Bernards war medals.
First shown on ITV Monday 5th August 1991, 7pm
Its Bernards birthday, but the only card he gets is from his Mum. Trevor has bought a very fetching pink jacket from the charity shop, and in the process got himself a date at a party with Arabella from the shop. Lady Elizabeth Lincoln Stubbs, another charity shop helper comes into the security control room, and Bernard thinks she is Arabella. A little later she gets something in her eye, so her and Trevor end up on the couch trying to get it out. Berard comes in and, thinking it is Arabella, assumes they are up to something. Of course, this doesnt go down too well with Lady Stubbs.
First shown on ITV Monday 12th August 1991, 7pm
The Plaza is being redecorated, and the control room has been half painted in Lilac. Bernard has been suffering with a headache all week. The shopping centre manager comes in and tells Bernard he is too old, and has to take early retirement. When one of the decorators tell Bernard and Trevor that his mate is in hospital because of the painting they believe the paint being used in the Plaza is cheap, toxic, Eastern European paint. In addition, it was bought by the managers husband. They force her to let Bernard keep his job. Only afterwards do they find out its not toxic paint after all, and the reason the painters mate is in hospital is that he fell off his ladder.
The Other Man’s Grass
First shown on ITV Monday 19th August 1991, 7pm
Trevor thinks life is passing him by, and tries to get a new job selling Bendy Wendy and Gary dolls. He practises hard for the interview, writes his resignation letter, and asks Bernard to hand it in. He then doesn’t manage to get the job, but thinks he’s also lost his current job. Thankfully Bernard didn’t hand the resignation letter in.